POETRY & HUMOR
Four Poems, SOFTBLOW, November 2022
Collecting Cash at the Phallic Factory, Sand Hills Literary, October 2022 (Editor’s Choice)
Henry Winkler Gives Me Permission to Quit Therapy, FreezeRay, September 2022
Despairathon, Abandon Journal, August 2022
Earth Has Attachment Issues, Sky Island Journal, July 2022
He Asks About My Kinks, Rattle, June 2022 (print)
Spigot Fairy, Whiskey Tit, May 2022
A Golden Shovel for a Guy Named Wax (after Gwendolyn Brooks), 2021 Moonstone Arts Featured Poets Anthology, March 2022 (print)
Zillow > For Sale > Late 20th Century Redhead, Jupiter Review, February 2022
The Red Hot Dogs from North Dakota, Olney Magazine, August 2021
Eddie Vedder Saved Me From a Cult, Olney Magazine, July 2021
Ode to a Mansplainer, Drunk Monkeys, May 2021
An Apology to the Guitar I Bought at the Beginning of the Pandemic That is Now Collecting Dust Beside My Cat Tower, Robot Butt, April 2021 (co-written with Chris Brotzman)
My Immune System Ignites a Forest Fire on My Skin, aka A Pandemic Stress Pantoum, Pine Hills Review, April 2021
My Frenemy, the Super Plus Tampon, Gnashing Teeth Publishing, April 2021
The God Grid Failed Texas, Anti-Heroin Chic, April 2021
Burnt Honey, Anti-Heroin Chic, April 2021
Remnants on the Pool Table’s Soft Felt, Anti-Heroin Chic, April 2021
Hanging Your Name on the Wall, Disquiet Arts, March 2021
Recollections from the Poet’s Training Bra, Disquiet Arts, March 2021
First Date with Herman Melville Reincarnated, Rue Scribe, March 2021
Bette Midler Dispenses Stray Advice During a Game of Playground Red Rover, Hash Journal, January 2021
An Endless Driving Sestina, Oddball Magazine, November 2020
Which Plastic Garbage Island Getaway is Right for You?, The Belladonna Comedy, April 2018
Email Sign-Offs Employers Will Fire You For, Especially if You Happen to be a Woman, McSweeney’s, March 2018
Thinking of Quitting Your Safe Middle Management Job to Pursue a Comedy Writing Career? First, Ask Everyone Else You Know..., Slackjaw, March 2018
Monologue: I, A White Female Trump Voter, Look Forward to the United States' Impending War with Nordstrom, McSweeney’s, February 2017
List: Categories I Divided My Belongings Into Using the KonMari Method, McSweeney’s, July 2016
This Judy Blume Reading is Bound to be Packed with Hot Virile Men, McSweeney’s, January 2016
Body Language That Tells Him Your FICO Score, Reductress, June 2015
List: How to Throw Like a Girl, McSweeney’s, April 2015
How to Put Yourself Out There While Staying in Here, Reductress, March 2015
PRESS
Has written an actually funny joke about abortion. --Bitch Media
An expert at hate-reading Gwyneth Paltrow's blog. —Salon
MORE MEDIA SHOUT-OUTS & WRITING ACCOLADES
Satire and parody also featured on Jezebel, Huffington Post, and Grub Street.
Help Wanted, the self-help podcast (for the not-so-serious) included in CultureMap's Best Podcasts from Austin comedians.
Nominated for a Best of the Net Award from Pine Hills Review for My Immune System Ignites a Forest Fire on My Skin, aka a Pandemic Stress Pantoum
Poetry selected for Toho Publishing’s Chapbook publication series.
One-woman show How to Say You’re Afraid of Commitment in 140 Characters or Less wins Best of Week in Frontera Fest’s Short Fringe Festival.
Finalist in the Erma Bombeck A Hotel Room of One's Own Humorist-in-Residence Program.
Finalist in Austin Film Festival's Pitch Competition for original sitcom pilot Peace Foods.
Original Pilot Counting Days is a finalist in the Acclaim Script Contest and People’s Pilot Competition, a quarter finalist Screencraft Pilot Launch, and a second-rounder at Austin Film Festival.
Audible picks up McSweeney’s piece How to Throw Like a Girl for download.
Original Pilot Edgewick Commons (co-written) is a Screencraft Pilot Launch quarter finalist, takes second place in People's Pilot Competition, and makes it on Austin Film Festival's second round list (out of over 8,600 submissions).
Original Pilot State U (co-written) is a semi-finalist in the People's Pilot Competition, a finalist in the ATX TV Fest Competition, second rounder at the Austin Film Festival, and finalist in AFF Pitch Competition.
Girl's "Juggalo" spec script takes 1st Place in Acclaim Script Contest and is an Official Finalist in the Hollywood Screenplay Contest, Official Finalist in the New York Screenplay Contest, and Creative Awards Finalist.
OTHER FUN STUFF
Check out other creative projects: Goop You, a parody blog of Goop, Help Wanted, Valerie’s podcast that ran for nearly 3 years, and an occasionally updated blog.