Solutions to Austin's Traffic Problem

1. Make every day Easter Sunday.
2. Make every day Superbowl Sunday.
3. Make every day a snow day.
4. Tell people a secret show is about to take place in their home.
5. Make the President of the United States visit, during SXSW, when it's raining, and then make the mayor strongly suggest everyone stay home.
6. Unhook everyone's car batteries.
7. Make everyone who uses "LOL" regularly, and unironically, stay home (this solves many problems beyond traffic).
8. Make a two-car train to carry 3 people from a place no one lives to a place no one wants to go. 
9. That thing that happened in the first episode of Black Mirror. 
10. Make everyone depressed.