My fear is disguised as a 4-drawer metal filing cabinet from Office Depot

I won a competition and $500 for Girls spec script I wrote about a gigantic box of condoms. My first spec. What? Wow! I think this means I'm supposed to continue writing. Fuck. I wish I had easier dreams. A huge part of me wants to write comedy and get paid for it, living in a city where such things happen. And another part of me is like, just find someone to make a child with and then you never have to write again. Note: I've never thought much at all about having children except as a reason to procrastinate.

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Miley Cyrus Hosts SNL; I Host Triple Scoop!

It's ACL weekend in Austin! Miley's on SNL! But the REAL action is this Saturday night at The Institution Theater. A paltry $5 gets you in to see 3 hilarious improv troupes and some self-actualized (maybe??) stand up! Buy your tix in advance here.  Get two for the price of one by using the discount code: "Scoop."

Troupe details:

iScream Sandwich! The Harold, a classic longform improv format, is a triple scoop of comedy in its own right. iSS is an appetizing team of improvists--including Heidi Caldwell, Erica Lies, Andrew Robinson, Regina Soto, Wyatt Tall, Carissa McAtee and Marv Pratt--taking on the Harold with their own custom flavors and unique toppings!

Miller & Lies - Miller & Lies are two veteran Austin improvisers. Nat Miller and Erica Lies explore realistic characters and stories through patient, grounded scene work.

B-Team - B-Team is Austin's newest improv troupe obsessed with the underdog and the unexpected! B-Team performs audience-inspired games where the strong may be weak and the weak may become godlike.