French fries
Hand-cut parsley potato twiggies
Scrambled eggs
Muddled cluckberries
PB&J
Brown bag yeast pocket, Valencia legume crème, smashed grape confit
Originally published in Skirt Magazine. A strange publication that paid.
Originally published in Skirt Magazine. A strange publication that paid.
A Neurotic Woman Does Guided Meditation
I could leave right now. Just stand up, throw this uncomfortable $50 zafu cushion from Amazon at that silly gong, and bolt. There’s a gelato place across the street…
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Categories I Divided My Belongings Into Using the KonMari Method
Things that spark joy.
Things that don’t spark joy.
Things that potentially could spark joy in a Mad Max post-apocalyptic scenario. Or if I, like, find the right pencil skirt to match.
Things that sparked joy until my cat puked on them.
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Originally published in Skirt Magazine. A strange publication that paid. Photo courtesy of Valerie Nies’ sugar addiction.
How to Get Your Bikini Body Scarf-Ready for Fall: 9 tips to whip your body into a shape you can't wait to hide
After a spring spent depriving, master cleansing, and crossfitting your body into tip-top bikini shape, you deserve to show off those flattened abs at the beach this summer. But, fall is right around the corner. It’s never too early to start fattening up your svelte body for scarf season. Thankfully between grilled burgers, fried chicken, and frozen cocktails, summer’s delectable treats make it easy to pack on extra LBs!
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Solutions to Austin's Traffic Problem
- Make everyone who uses "LOL" regularly, and unironically, stay home (this solves many problems beyond traffic).
- Make a two-car train to carry 3 people from a place no one lives to a place no one wants to go.
- That thing that happened in the first episode of Black Mirror.